“as long as I keep moving, I’m safe”
“what about when you’re asleep?”
“Oh, I’m a terrible insomniac.”
“Since when?”
“Um.. birth?”
Yeah, I’m feeling a little Jessica Stein these days, minus the whole sleeping with women thing. Oh, don’t think I haven’t considered it. But really, it wouldn’t be any easier to deal with a lame relationship with a woman than a man.
Anyway, so… I have been running three miles a day. It makes me tired when I’m supposed to be, but I still can’t sleep. Essentially, I have been waking up with a start every morning at 6am as though by skipping the extra half hour of sleep I can somehow control everything in my life.
I had a great time out the last couple of nights. I needed that. I’ve been pretty wallowy in the fact that I’m going to be 24 next month and am just kind of tired of going back to the drawing board in relationships. It’s so hard to want to learn someone new. At least that’s what I always think until I meet someone I want to learn and then it’s great.
“It takes a special kind of disposition to be afraid of being alone for the rest of your life at 26. We were of that disposition.” Yeah, there’s been a whole lot of Nick Hornby in my head lately.
But anyway, there were a couple of nice reminders the last couple of days that that is not destined. (1) I had an R&S screening and this guy that I totally forgot existed came. A mutual friend of ours invited him and I had no idea he’d be coming. He seemed really happy to see me which was nice. (2) Then I went to Bob’s for the night Justin promotes there that I’ve been promising him for WEEKS I would get to and haven’t. Got there early and chilled at the bar and this guy just started chatting with me. He kept asking me questions, and he got to “what did you want to be when you were ten years old” before I realized he was interested. I’m slow. Anyway, I wasn’t my usual effervescent self, and I wasn’t that interested myself, but again. Nice to be noticed.
The Cantab was a lot of fun last night. When I first got in, the open mic was a little painful but it got very worth it. Plus, during the painful parts got to chill with Jme outside to avoid laughing at people. I’m horrible. There’s a line from a song that reminded me of a boy there that I can’t remember now. The lyric, not the boy. He’s getting more memorable. There was a great line in a piece last night that almost made me fall off of my chair something like “maybe I’ve had the wrong poet girlfriends”. Yeah, that made me chuckle. Considering. Yeah, frickin poets. ALSO, Simone asked me to watch to door. I feel like I belong now. All in all good times, and I’m writing this one poetry now so I can jinx it before I get attached. Keep an eye out for that.
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