i finish nice guys last

some themes I’ve been trying on for size. they’re a little too big right now

I gotta quit smoking
because contrary to popular opinion
or the way that the saying goes
nice guys don’t finish last-
they just don’t want anything
to do with me.

Oh, they think they do.
At first,
before the novelty of a girl
with a comprehensive knowledge
of early ’90s video games and
a closet full of short skirts wears away.
Before they tire of a lifestyle
they can’t keep up with…
Sometime between the moment
that they realize they can’t be the
center of my universe
and the moment they realize that
they already kind of are.

I bring out the mean in nice
boys
justify the “I don’t usually do this
kind of thing.”

I’d like to say the same.

But there’s only so many times
you can wake up in someone else’s bed
before you call it habit.

I don’t like to think of myself as a smoker
but it’s been 6 nice boys and a former heroin
addict since I started buying my own packs
so call me what you will.

Just don’t say I didn’t try.
I know I could have tried harder
but you didn’t try at all.

I don’t usually do this kind of thing
and by “this kind of thing”
I mean be honest with myself.
To quit, you have to want it.
I’m figuring it’s the same to starting
something new
and by that measure, I know you never
really wanted me.

~ by caralisapowers on May 22, 2007.