so it goes…
Tribute in title only. I won’t get into how sad I when I got the message from Katie last night that Mr. Vonnegut had completed his term on this earth. Ah well, I’m going to look at it from a Slaughterhouse Five perspective. Maybe he knew all along. So it goes does seem an appropriate anthem for my lifestyle right now in general.
The day to day is just that. I literally slept on my office couch last night in order to save time in commuting to be here very early to meet a deadline. I know I always joke about keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse, but I really should start doing that. I can’t remember how many times I’ve gone to Filene’s Basement this year to buy new ones. I’ve accepted the fact that I have a propensity for just rolling with it, which sometimes means sleeping in places that are not my home, but I should at least be better prepared. At least I’m small and fit pretty well on most couches.
Anyway, I am enjoying the day to day right now. I am happy, more stable financially, healthy I suppose is arguable, but you know… I feel okay. Boys are insane, but other than that I’ve got a pretty good social life going on. And when are boys (regardless of how much they think that they are men) not a little insane. Here’s the problem: I have no problem talking about things openly, but I’m not good at starting the conversations. And when I try, things get all awkward. Someday… someday I will find a dude who can (a) keep up with me (b) doesn’t feel guilty about being busy and (c) doesn’t feel unaccomplished for being not as busy as me. Also, one who has no problem being honest about where the’re coming from and expects the same of me, or… I don’t know, talks about things at all. Sometimes I feel like I’m kind of sort of maybe dating “Sybil-” you know, the Sally Field schyzophrenia movie. Yeah… it’s kind of like that. Day 1: let’s stay up all night kind of talking. Day 6: come over and let’s make out. Day 12: i will sleep in your bed and not kiss you. Day 17: come over and make out again. Day 25: you are gone so I will make out with another girl. Day 35: I will pretend that never happened and write about how I’m kind of sorry in my blog. Day 50: let’s stay up all night kind of talking. Day 60: You appear to be with another guy, I am going to shower you with public displays of affection.
Purely hypothetical. Okay, that’s a lie.
Oh venting… it gets us nowhere. I need to finish this report for a site visit today, but I am totally in eight different places at once, and my personal life is the least stressful, so I am content to just hang out here for a few minutes.
